Stage Humorist Gifts

Magic Act

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

The Theatre of Mime.

'One of our actors is passed out drunk. Is there a spin doctor in the house?'

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Football Chameleon

Modern Major General

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Schrodinger's Black Box

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"The Eggsorcist"

Radiator jazz player

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

Drummer

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Elevator Music

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

Double Saxophone

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Berta screams out!

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Rap-scallions

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."