Stage Humorist Pillows

Magic Act

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

The Theatre of Mime.

'One of our actors is passed out drunk. Is there a spin doctor in the house?'

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Football Chameleon

Modern Major General

Schrodinger's Black Box

"The Eggsorcist"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

Drummer

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

Elevator Music

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Guitar pickin'

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

Rap-scallions

Berta screams out!

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Double Saxophone

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."