Roadway Humorist Pillows

"It's a very short cycle lane but I'm determined to use it."

Cleaning a new road

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Modern Major General

Schrodinger's Black Box

"The Eggsorcist"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Radiator jazz player

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

Drummer

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

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Elevator Music

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Guitar pickin'

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Berta screams out!

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Rap-scallions

Double Saxophone

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

"Ding" "Dong"

Dr. Phil takes it home.