Roadway Jokester Pillows

No Hand Signals

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

Cleaning the Horse

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

Early music

"You remind me very much of myself when I was your age, Carter, and there is no way that this company would employ such a person."

"We need someone who's responsible."

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

Gang of Musicians

Mozart's symphonies often had several movements.

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

'Pluck me.'

Serpent Instrument player

'We got Ethan this accordion to make some extra money. People pay him not to play it.'

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

The woodwind section

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

'Let me clarify something, Simpkins. . . I didn't say you were going to Mexico. . . I said your job is going to Mexico.'

I can't believe you bought an air guitar on eBay! (Published originally on December 18, 2007.)

Classical Customer Information - "How long is a piece of string quartet?"

The fairy godmother made a coach for Cinderella out of a pumpkin! Bill. That's nothing. Some guys made a car for me out of a lemon!

'You didn't really think you'd get away with this, did you?'