Stage Humor Gifts

Rapper's baggy trousers fall down on stage.

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Modern Major General

Schrodinger's Black Box

Drummer

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Berta screams out!

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

Magic Act

Nanki Poo

Awaiting the sensation of a short sharp shock

Sir John Gielgud.

'My philosophy is that the bigger you are, the smaller the desk you need.'

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

Corporate Lawyers

'I'm organic.'

Barber of Seville

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him-yet somehow I did not realize that he was a cow."

Angry Doctor Bartolo

This next song is about facing your fears, which I'll be playing on the ukulele.

'But seriously , folks, I know you're out there, I can hear you bleeding!'

Houdini's Dog.

Actors' dispute.

"This song is inspired by the time I fell down the tower stairs"

"75"

"This next trick will require a volunteer from the audience..."

"Is that my skirt?!!"

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

Peter

"Somebody tell me...what's my motivation?"

Mime Prison

Busking Elephant

"There's a big difference between being a method actor and a meth OD'd actor, Burt."