Life Stage Humorist Pillows

"75"

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Peter

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

Magic Act

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"You're not just a number here. You're a number who hasn't been fired yet."

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

"This song is inspired by the time I fell down the tower stairs"

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

Rocket charmer.

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

'I'm bored.'

Same Sexless Marriage

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

"You don't need a prescription, Mr. Beesley - you need an iron...."

The Theatre of Mime.

Castle with parking lot.

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'