Life Stage Commentator Pillows

How Pants Defy Gravity As We Age.

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

Occupant.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

From Here You Can See Bugger All

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

"Under our new definition of 'what is a sale?', he hasn't made any this year."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

Blues for now.

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

Our Troubled Chowders

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

"Yes, Myra, I do still love you. What I don't love, however, is this exit poll every damned morning."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Renaissance Zone

Title Page for 'Mrs Grundy'

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

Focus Groupies

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."