Comedian Of Life Stages Pillows

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Middle-Age Superheroes

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"A raise? Unlimited free refills aren't enough for you?"

Magic Act

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"Your resume looks good, but I'm not seeing any DNA data."

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'I went into hunting and gathering. And you?'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

This next song is about facing your fears, which I'll be playing on the ukulele.

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

Open entrance door to find exit door directly behind it.

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"Where do you see yourself after 5 beers?"