Mile-high Club Newbie Gifts

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

'What zip code are we in now?'

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

The Walk of Shame

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Too much club."

"Gym for regular people" "No intimidating trainers!" "Lo-tech" "Less is more!" "Not plastic" "Fluffy and scented" "No mirrors" "Full service restaurant"

Vaccine passport required

"If you don't like the chicken, perhaps we can have the air marshal shoot a goose."

Gorgeous Groovers.

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"Since you're a computer geek, I suggest lifting the box the weights came in."

'He uses the leg rope in the water and she uses it out of the water!'

'I decided it was time to be more active when my wife started dusting me twice a week.'

'Please! Take these and let my buddy go!!'

"It's a special golf bag for beginners - It has a built-in GPS."

'I'm no good at push ups.'

Girls night out. Dress up, liquor up...throw up.

Man holds up giant disco ball on slope.

'Where the hell are my clubs ?'

The Boise Chapter of the Polar Bear Club celebrates the news that it's been given 'Endangered Species' status.

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'

Mulligan's first mulligan.

Explorers Club

"And here's where we keep our more serious cases of Trip Trading Addiction."

Mile high skydivers

"They told me to consult with a doctor before beginning an exercise program."

'I would say that we have unearthed ancient hunting weapons.'

Confessions on a plane.

"Boy, first class sure looks good."

These trainers are rubbish...I've had them for three weeks and I'm still fat and unfit!