Health-conscious Clubber Gifts

Vaccine passport required

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

Dancing at the Clubs.

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"The club scene is really changing."

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

"It's been so long—it's like I'm only gay in theory."

Rooster DJ scratches records during party.

Time-of-the-month club.

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

'When you said we were going clubbing, I didn't know you meant History Club, Chess Club and Math Club.'

Jim's Smart Kettle

Old man plays golf, supported by his caddy and paramedic.

"An apple? Doesn't he have any pizza?"

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"I brought chips and cookies to snack on and baby carrots to sit unopened on the blanket."

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

Hap's Bar & Grill: 'Stress manager on duty.'

'He's here to apply for the bouncer job.'

'If you couldn't get into clubs, what makes you think you can get in here?'

Football crazy

"I don't need roughage that badly!"

Crisis at the health club.

"Look! Now they offer healthy choices we can glance at before ordering our usual junk."

The invention of baseball.

"My telemedical nutritionist calls it surprisingly smooth, with a fruity bouquet rendered more enticing due to a hing of cassis and touches of bell pepper aroma."

"To the fact that martinis have no cholesterol, gluten, or GMOs...."

Nerd night at the club.

"Wine and women are off but can sing as much as you like!"

Office Smoking Conflict

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

"Processed food was his undoing. He was eating a salad sandwich in the warehouse, when a pallet of pork pies fell on him!"

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

'They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no no no.'

birthday meets reality