Health-conscious Golfer Gifts

'To control his blood pressure, his doctor said he needs to take his medication, watch his diet and improve his golf game.'

Old man plays golf, supported by his caddy and paramedic.

Vaccine passport required

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

'...And because there are four basic steps to an appendectomy, we refer to it as a 'par four.''

Luckily I hit the pin!

"Hold on ! Hold on! When you said you'd played this game before at school...."

I don't think you can call a Mulligan in the middle of surgery.

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'

'Medical science can't cure a slice.'

'I hope that's olive oil. More healthy.'

'Of course I'm concerned with green issues...'

Healthy eating centre - keep off the grease.

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

Candies and diet pills

"Don't worry about John. He just went to a hypnotist to improve his game."

"Alright if we play through?"

'Well, that's 3 of my 7-a-day.'

'How much eating time do I have left?'

Resisting the Virus

Watchdog Maddoff Type Fraud Schemes.

"This putt is worth $75,000 - certainly more than enough for a decent suit of clothes, a haircut and a set of real golf clubs!"

'I said sand wedge.'

"This is a real good deal. If you take the Gigaburger Family Four, you get free liposuction vouchers."

Golf mole

"Now take your time. . . birdie or promotion."

'It appears that Medical Science has turned down the offer of my body.'

"Place your bets! Place your bets!"

Guru to guru playing golf: 'I don't think you're cut out for this life'.

'Your new golf shoes are ruined.'

"I swear to god Henderson, if you miss this one we're taking separate ubers back to the helipad."

'I'm not asking you for a rough estimate. I want an exact number.'

'Expecting a quick and east operation, Doctor?'

'You're a lousy loser, Dave!'