Midwife Gifts

Maternity Doors

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

'Wait, breathe or don't breathe? Oh jeez, why did I have to sleep through Lamaze class?'

'Don't worry they normally look like little humas during the early scans.'

Maternity Ward

Mike was definitely having a mid-wife crisis.

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

Breastfeeding

"I want a natural birth, no make-up, no lip gloss, no..."

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

Maternity Ward Public Opening

"Doc, she's having contractions!"

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

Chicken Labour.

Push, push, push...

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'False alarm. You're not having a baby. You're having a birthday.'

'Push!..Push!..Push!..Push!'

Though initially enthusiastic about natural childbirth, the Millers felt their midwives took the concept too far.

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

'The tests are pretty conclusive, Mrs. Kane. It's going to be a brat.'

"He was born breech."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"Quentin - I'm having a baby." "I'm just having a buttered roll."

'It's a side gig.'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

Mr. and Mrs. New Year have a baby

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

'A woman obsetrician! What do women know about that sort of thing?'

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

'It's Mrs. O'Hara...the one whose due date was 37 days ago...she's angry.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"Oh don't worry. That's Benedict Cumberbatch. He's in everything."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'