Meter Maid Gifts

No double parking.

Entrapment Or What?

In one last act of civil disobedience, Carl pulled over and died.

Slow Night

"... And on the way out, you won't notice my car parked in a no parking zone."

Meter Maid

A sneak of traffic wardens

Santa vs traffic warden...

"His first out-of-body experience."

Cry babies.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

A midwife holding a baby

Face painting.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'I'm not too sure about that.'

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'