Hotel Maid Gifts

'Sanitized for your protection.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

Slow Night

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Cook and her Maids

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"Walking to the pub takes me 5 minutes, but 20 minutes to walk home." "The difference is staggering."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

The Suite Hereafter

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Mini Bar

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

Special! Continental breakfast...$3.99: 'What continent is this suppose to represent - Antarctica!'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

'No Sir, it's not sunny here all the time. Never at night.'

'What if I promise not to look?'

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

In the art gallery

Saying Grace.

The Inn Keeper's Wife and Daughter taking care of the Don after being beaten and bruised.

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

A declaration - man tells a girl that she has stolen his heart.