Hotel Service Gifts

'Service Lift.'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'Now here's a place I like!'

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Birds talking about package holiday makers - "Amazing how they find there way back every year."

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

The Suite Hereafter

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

Mini Bar

Biliard Enthusiast

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

'No Sir, it's not sunny here all the time. Never at night.'

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

'Bed & Bagel'

Special! Continental breakfast...$3.99: 'What continent is this suppose to represent - Antarctica!'

'What if I promise not to look?'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

No early morning tea past this landing

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

Seal blubber stew

Hotel mini-bar.

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

The trips postponed by La Covid continue