Hotel Clerk Gifts

To conserve energy our staff will not respond.

Ernie just got hired at the hotel down the street. I don't think he's ever worked at a hotel before. Ernie, you're a doorman! I was guessing you'd be a bellhop or front desk clerk. No, I don't have any experience working in hotels. Everybody without experience starts out as a doorman. It's the only entry position they have here!

'A room with double beds, please.'

"Excuse me, sir. Our phones are down, so I'm here with your wake-up call."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

The Suite Hereafter

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

Mini Bar

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

'Bed & Bagel'

'What if I promise not to look?'

University Book Store.

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

Special! Continental breakfast...$3.99: 'What continent is this suppose to represent - Antarctica!'