Hotel Keeper Gifts

Experientia Docet.

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"I didn't spark joy."

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

Bathroom Fairy

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

Cook and her Maids

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

TV and cleaner

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

'You only said to bring home a feather duster. You never said what kind.'

The Suite Hereafter

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

Mini Bar

Clearing the castle's moat.

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"