Hotel Manager Gifts

"Here's your room key, and here's your mountain view."

Concierge in Heaven

'Tomorrow morning I would like breakfast in bed.'

'I know you said this was a four star hotel, but I didn't expect to see them through a hole in my ceiling!'

"Lucky you. We've just had a cancelation."

'And there's extra blankets if you need them.'

'There aren't any towels in room 211.'

Eloise Revisited

'I know we asked for a room with running water,but...'

"...frankly, Mrs. Roach, I think you'd get more business if you changed your name."

"If I promise to come back serval times, can I get the group rate?"

'Hello room service - could you please send up something for me to roll in?'

Bed & Breakfast

'In true pirate tradition all of our sails are made entirely from stolen hotel towels.'

Bedbug Hotel Reviews

"The sands are not golden."

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."

'Less important people...'

"What idiot hired that floating head as a bellboy?"

Live Elevator Music 3-7:30.

Mini Bar

''Man with no name' or not, you have to sign the register.'

'Waiter, this jam tastes of fish!'

'The motel was nothing fancy but it was clean and they were too tired and hungry to care....'

I wish to complain. Someone left a chocolate on my pillow!

" ....you didn't say wanted one that worked."

Laundering charges.

'This is room 35a. About that early morning wake up I asked for!'

And another thing...someone left this small chocolate on my pillow!

"Well, here we are. If you need anything, just ring."

Posh man jumps out of a burning building into a rainstorm with a doorman holding an umbrella for him.

'Reservations.'

Man in small hotel room phones room service: 'Room service? Send me up more room.'

'Are you 'inn-experienced'?'

Chamber Pot - En Suite