Taking Over A Hotel Management Gifts

No early morning tea past this landing

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

The Suite Hereafter

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

The little engine that delegated

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"I don't want to insult your intelligence - I imagine that happens enough as it is."

Mini Bar

"They're going to be tough shoes to fill."

Special! Continental breakfast...$3.99: 'What continent is this suppose to represent - Antarctica!'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

'What if I promise not to look?'

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

'No Sir, it's not sunny here all the time. Never at night.'

Zagat Rated.

'Bed & Bagel'

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

French 75s at the Stafford

Hotel mini-bar.

The trips postponed by La Covid continue

Landing That Tough Account

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"