Hotel Owners Gifts

The Problem with Emoluments

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Fast food. Even faster food

6 Brothers Falafel

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Cut Price

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'