Mother-warriors Gifts

Women at war - balancing work & family

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

The Three Wise Queens

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

Buggy with Snowplow.

'Beware of teething baby.'

"Congrats! It's a health future unequally paid sexual harassment victim!"

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

Competitiveness in Ancient Times

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"She cries when I give it to her, she cries when I take it away."

"He keeps touching me!"

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

Manspreading in Art

"Noah, I'm tired of doing battle with you!"

'Well, no wonder I feel blocked.'

"Shame about the ovaries..."

'Getting other people's toddler's leftovers on a highchair is one thing, but getting their toddler, too, is another.'

'Every weekend he's off hunting with his buddies! I never see him!!!'

"Now that we're married you'll be cooking and cleaning and ironing and guess who'll be dressing me and combing my hair?" "The mortician."

Responsibility

"You're a very intelligent little woman my dear."