Nursemaid Gifts

A child and a babysitter gazing out of a window

Tilly Slowboy

Where your mind & battle are los

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

International Women's Day

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

International Women's Day.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

vaccine wars.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

The cell phone soother for life.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'