Barmaid Gifts

Germany.

Wanted: Solutions Integration Specialist, Must Be Able To Mix Drinks.

Real Ale / Real Boobs.

'I took one for myself, like you said.'

'Sorry, no credit, the only free spirit in here is my barmaid.'

Members only.

"Hop it! We don't serve your type!"

This beer is totally pale and tasteless!! Your glass is empty, you need a refil!

'Maybe your wife doesn't understand you, because you don't make any sense!'

"A quick pint, Mavis, I'm running on empty!"

"You must be the new barmaid."

"No menus, you get what you deserve!"

'No doubt about it, THIS is the most beautiful time of the day!'

'Is there any truth in the rumour that you're moonlighting as a barmaid,Miss Jones?'

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

'You told me I'd need good shoes for this job. I had a better idea...'

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

"I can't help the fact he's fallen in love with the barmaids poodle."

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

'Say! You're NEW here aren't you?'

Men with spinning tops - Would you like a top up sir?

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'You spend too much time in this stuffy pub.' - 'You're right, I'm taking my drink onto the patio.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

'Maybe your wife doesn't understand you because you're always drunk.'

"I resent it when people come in to complain about their spouses, especially when one is my husband."

"Friends are like trees. They fall down if you hit them with an axe."

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect the glasses?'

'When he hired me he agreed I wouldn't have to make coffee, but I should have known there was a catch.'

'I think I've solved my drinking problem.'

"Do you have any of those little goldfish snacks I've heard about?"

Child In A Bar.

"Mind passing me a coaster?"

"I'm at the age where work is a lot less fun, and fun is a lot more work."

"Just when did we replace the peanuts with potpourri?"