Barmaid Mugs

Germany.

Wanted: Solutions Integration Specialist, Must Be Able To Mix Drinks.

'I took one for myself, like you said.'

Real Ale / Real Boobs.

This beer is totally pale and tasteless!! Your glass is empty, you need a refil!

'Is there any truth in the rumour that you're moonlighting as a barmaid,Miss Jones?'

'No doubt about it, THIS is the most beautiful time of the day!'

"A quick pint, Mavis, I'm running on empty!"

Members only.

'Maybe your wife doesn't understand you, because you don't make any sense!'

'Sorry, no credit, the only free spirit in here is my barmaid.'

"You must be the new barmaid."

"No menus, you get what you deserve!"

"Hop it! We don't serve your type!"

At The Oblivion Lounge"A double blotto straight up, Dave."

"Really? 'Happy Hour' is meant ironically? And you say everyone knows this?"

"Just when did we replace the peanuts with potpourri?"

"This bartender really pours a lousy head."

"Mind passing me a coaster?"

Child In A Bar.

Trilby - 'Trilby's forbears'.

"Do you have any of those little goldfish snacks I've heard about?"

'... On the contrary. My wife understands me perfectly. That's why she's just petitioned for a divorce.'

'I think I've solved my drinking problem.'

'When he hired me he agreed I wouldn't have to make coffee, but I should have known there was a catch.'

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect the glasses?'

"Friends are like trees. They fall down if you hit them with an axe."

"I resent it when people come in to complain about their spouses, especially when one is my husband."

'Rat arsed.'

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

'Maybe your wife doesn't understand you because you're always drunk.'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

'You spend too much time in this stuffy pub.' - 'You're right, I'm taking my drink onto the patio.'

'Look - I know the customer asked for two fingers...'