Midwife T-Shirts

Maternity Doors

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

'Wait, breathe or don't breathe? Oh jeez, why did I have to sleep through Lamaze class?'

'Don't worry they normally look like little humas during the early scans.'

Maternity Ward

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

"I want a natural birth, no make-up, no lip gloss, no..."

Mike was definitely having a mid-wife crisis.

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

Breastfeeding

Chicken Labour.

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'Push!..Push!..Push!..Push!'

Maternity Ward Public Opening

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

"Doc, she's having contractions!"

'The tests are pretty conclusive, Mrs. Kane. It's going to be a brat.'

"He was born breech."

"Oh don't worry. That's Benedict Cumberbatch. He's in everything."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"Quentin - I'm having a baby." "I'm just having a buttered roll."

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

'It's Mrs. O'Hara...the one whose due date was 37 days ago...she's angry.'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

Mr. and Mrs. New Year have a baby

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'A woman obsetrician! What do women know about that sort of thing?'

'It's a side gig.'

Maternity Ward - Push Hard.

'I encourage natural childbirth - gently coaxing the baby into the world. If that fails, I go with brute force and intimidation.'

"Congratulations, Mrs Foopster!! It's a bouncing baby boy!!"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.