Middle-age Rebel Gifts

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Middle-Aged Punk...

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

Too old to rock'n'roll now, Sir?

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"My inner child just turned sixty-five."

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

Hot flashes

'Lager Lout'- 'Saga Lout'

Beard, socks and sandals.

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

"I'd prefer this to a gold watch any day."

'Sorry boys, you're just not rock & roll enough for us.'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

Luke Warm & Over E-Z: The World's Blandest Rappers.

'You know you're 40 when...'

"I rolled over my 401K into the football pool."

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

'There's a group here to see you about a class action!'

"He's auditioning for a part in 'Conan The Octagenarian'."

'Why don't you look like Jennifer Aniston, you're the same age.'

"He retired at an executive, returned as a contractor, became a consultant and now he's a brooding presence."

"Knees peeking out of jeans are sexy, but what would you know?"

'I'm sixty-five. I'm retiring from being a house wife!'

Whatever

"What the hell - a second adolescence is better than a second childhood."