Mid-life Rebel Gifts

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

Fishbowl rebellion.

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

'Where Are They Now?'

Too old to rock'n'roll now, Sir?

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

"I attempted to circumvent the traditional trappings of a teen furlough...but I was thwarted by my czar-ish parental unit."

Lawrence of Suburbia

"I can't stand working in the office, but I don't mind the commute."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this seminar is about how to make profits in times of crisis..."

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

'Lager Lout'- 'Saga Lout'

Beard, socks and sandals.

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

'I said you can't touch me - it's my religion.'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

"I'd prefer this to a gold watch any day."

'Dad, I decided not to get a tattoo in the end. Like you, I got a piercing, instead.'

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

"I rolled over my 401K into the football pool."

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.