Mid-life Gifts

Middle Aged Spread.

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

ZZZZZZZ Top

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"You used to be that ambitious."

The best way to prevent sagging is to keep eating until the wrinkles fall out.

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Where Are They Now?'

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Male Pattern Baldness

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"