Mid-life Musers Gifts

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

"You could call it cilia. I prefer to think of it as designer stubble."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

The Evolution Of Man.

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"Oh, that's my cousin. I'm the Bluebird of Mid-Life Existential Despair!"

'In denial and loving it!'

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I told them to pipe down."

'Is this really where we wanted to be at this stage of our lives?'

"I'm at that point in my life where everything calls for a drink."

'He's going through a phase of wanting to be a grape again.'

"You've hit the age where your broad mind and narrow waist are turning into your narrow mind and broad waist."

"What's wrong with your dad?"

"Sometimes, on a day like this, I can just catch the faintest smell of youth."

'it's going through mid-life crisis.'

'He used to live in the fast lane, it's more like a blind alley now.'

"Don't quote me on that."

"It started with a little rinse to cover the gray..."

"With proper flossing your restoration will last forever. My assistant will show you how."

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'