Mid-life Philosopher Gifts

"I'm at that point in my life where everything calls for a drink."

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

A Realization

'That's ok... I'll know it for you.'

Tarzans mid life crisis: 'It's a jungle out there.'

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"You used to be that ambitious."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

'Where Are They Now?'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

A bull which has seen red.

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"