Middle-age Philosopher Gifts

"Remember when we used to feel sorry for people our age?"

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

The Googler

Screen Time vs Book Time

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Will follow you on social media for food."

Mark Zuckerberg

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

"I'm here for the hair."

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

'I'd go back if I were you.'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

Rodin's THE FEELER

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

Follow me on Twitter...

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

"Remember, it's Boy, Girl, LGBT, Boy, Girl, LG . . ."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

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