Ageing Philosopher Gifts

'30 years ago it was a butterfly tattoo, but these days it seems to have rolled itself back into a cocoon...'

'I'm part of the losing things generation.'

"Who wants to be 100? Only 99-year olds..."

"He's very depressed. This is the year his age caught up with his IQ."

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"I'm here for the hair."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"It's a coming of old age story."

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

Mall of ages

"Date of birth?" "1989." "In 1989 I couldn't make ice... still can't." "Good lord, she could be my daughter! I'm so #!@* old." "That's the year my wife left me. Now I have a cold and I'm depressed!"

Balding Autumn Tree.

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

'But my mom says that 40 is the new 30.'

'My doctor didn't have enough replacement parts, so I'm just getting by on two cylinders.'

"So, Ms. Mayfly. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Happy Birthday!