Age Philosophers Gifts

Age is a matter of perspective.

"...You don't look a day over 50 million!"

If fifty is the new seventy, when is the new dead?

"They say 60 is the new 40 and 40 is the new 30 and 30 is still a complete pain in the ass to their parents."

An old man and young man who are mirror images of each other pass on a street

Bill and his pet tortoise

If you're as old as you feel, how come I can't get Medicare

"You know, we're not getting any younger...I mean, pretty soon, we'll both be 16."

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

"On the bright side, you are embracing aging magnificently."

A huge, mind-boggling number.

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"I'm here for the hair."

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

Sex Education

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

Young Galileo