Young Philosophers Gifts

Most Likely to Succeed

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

Doing timeout changes a guy.

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

"Shoe laces, buttons, zippers, snaps...I'm beginning to hate technology!"

'Have you given any thought to what you're going to do with your life after Summer Vacation?'

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"Dad, I'm nearly eighteen. I'm old enough to get divorce if I want"

'What's on your bucket list?'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

Boy and girl at thier studies

"One year closer to college!"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"I'm here for the hair."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

Life after death