Future Philosophers Gifts

"I feel kind of bad for 2021, we're putting an awful lot of pressure on it."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Could I ask just one question?"

"One year closer to college!"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

'So what are you studying, young man?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

Life after death

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

Tomorrow's world 2165.

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"How about this? We carpet the road and use the resultant static electricity to power our electric cars."