Aspiring Philosopher Gifts

"True, time is money, but unfortunately, money isn't time

"Everyone was born with a purpose in life...."

'Leaving a stain isn't the same as leaving a mark, Axel.'

'Have you got any self-help books?'

'I found this copy of 'Atlas Shrugged' under his mattress!'

How To Be In The Moment...a few moments before anyone else.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"One year closer to college!"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Could I ask just one question?"

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Pastorius wonders why.

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

Life after death