Student Philosopher Gifts

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Could I ask just one question?"

"One year closer to college!"

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

Life after death

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know what your office staff are doing?'

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."