College Drop-out Philosopher Gifts

'I never finished college, but the $60,000 my parents spent on my education should count for something.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"One year closer to college!"

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

Life after death

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know what your office staff are doing?'