College Philosopher Gifts

'I owe all my drive, ambition, and dedication to student debt.'

'Hi son. We just stopped by to bring you some food and money...we know how hard it must be to be in collage and have a job at the same time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"One year closer to college!"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Could I ask just one question?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

Life after death