College Philosopher Pillows

'I owe all my drive, ambition, and dedication to student debt.'

2016. 2015. Hey, come back here! You can't just decide to take a gap year!

'Hi son. We just stopped by to bring you some food and money...we know how hard it must be to be in collage and have a job at the same time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

"One year closer to college!"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Could I ask just one question?"

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

Life after death

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"