Classroom Philosopher Gifts

History repeats itself. Which may explain why it's so boring.

'Is it still considered cheating when you copy test answers off someone who just gets average grades?'

No Miss, I wasn't day dreaming. I was planning my summer vacation!

'The trouble with history is that there's really no future in it.'

"I didn't come to school yesterday because of greedy capitalist businessmen."

What would you do if you only had one hour to live?

"Who has the most power... the president or his wife?"

"So, you teach to work through your interpersonal relationships. How does that make you feel?"

"I beg to differ, Miss. My answer is correct. It's your question that's wrong."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

Teacher's sign in Philosophy class reads: 'Think', Sign in Science class reads 'Thunk' as student falls over.

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

Philosophy Test Today. This "Meaning of Life" question -- is that essay or true-false?

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

"OK...for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

Global Education

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

"I feel I need to take a break from academia."

Beginning of the school year

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

'I owe all my drive, ambition, and dedication to student debt.'