Class Philosopher Gifts

'The global positioning system says we're on the border between middle class and lower middle class.'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

Young Galileo

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

"It's one thing for the National Commission to comment on the quality of teaching in our schools. It's another thing entirely for you to stand up and call Mr. Costello a yo-yo."

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

"I like to consider Third Grade as just another life hack."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"It's from a girl in my class. Should I be thinking about a prenup?"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'