Student Life Philosopher Gifts

'How do you expect me to learn anything if I'm in school five days a week?'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"Could I ask just one question?"

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"One year closer to college!"

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Yearbook

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"