Classroom Thinker Gifts

2x + 5 = 13. Arithmetic might be education, but that algebra stuff is indoctrination!

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

Welcome to your new English Class.

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

'...All profits are local.'

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

I will not waste chalk kid...

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

Global Education

No Miss, I wasn't day dreaming. I was planning my summer vacation!

"I beg to differ, Miss. My answer is correct. It's your question that's wrong."

Beginning of the school year

"Take a few minutes to introduce yourself, Ms. Berry. Not that they don't already have you pegged."

'It's terribly frustrating. For 37 years he's been trying to prove that things equal to the same thing are not equal to each other.'

'How did you get so many kids to sign up for your geology class?'

"Who has the most power... the president or his wife?"

'To maximize student achievement, the Feng Shui consultant advises one student per classroom.'

Back to School

"You see 'The Man' devised this shrewd plan so more people can go to college and become doctors and lawyers and stuff. Now that they're 'productive members of society,' revolution is the last thing on their minds! I plan to make that my doctoral thesis wh

School boy

'Well. . . she's exceptionally distracted.'