Classroom Enthusiast Gifts

'I look forward to my first year as a teacher. I wrote lesson plans, attended in-service workshops, and decorated my classroom. Preparation is half the victory. It's the other half that scares me.'

"Miss Perkins, I need more lumbar support."

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

'I think my teacher is very devoted. She always says she's more interested in the outcome than her income.'

''Show and Tell' is NOT an invasion of privacy!'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'It was neat! - they have flat-screen blackboards!'

School boy

'I want to be a teacher when I grow up so I can dish out homework like you.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'Truthfully, I love teaching middle-school kids, they're so interesting!...They're all just pudgy bundles of potential!...Although some of them smell funny.'

"Teaching history isn't history... so pay attention and learn some history before you become history."

"Hey! This is my seat! I sit at the front every year!"

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

Beginning of the school year

Global Education

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

"Remember double negatives are a complete no-no."

“Honestly class, where are your minds?!”

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

'Take this to your boss. It works for me with my teacher.'

Back to School

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'