Orderly Classroom Enthusiast Gifts

"Robert, why is it necessary for you to walk up and down every aisle three times whenever you go to the pencil sharpener?"

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

“Honestly class, where are your minds?!”

Global Education

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

Beginning of the school year

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

"But playing computer games help my. . . uh. . . dexterity, so I can do my school work better!"

"No, you don't get incentive pay for Billy Vincent."

School boy

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

"That's my survival kit. It has a meditation tape, aspirin and rose-coloured glasses."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"I'm Billy's mother, and this is his attorney!"

"Isn't it great? I found little 'Classroom Mode' switches behind their ears."

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

A small clown sits at the back of a class room - 'Mr Jenkins, do you always have to be the class clown?!'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'It was neat! - they have flat-screen blackboards!'

'I just can't take the eraser bits, the spit balls and the insults anymore!'