Orderly Classroom Enthusiast Pillows

"Robert, why is it necessary for you to walk up and down every aisle three times whenever you go to the pencil sharpener?"

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Global Education

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

Beginning of the school year

"But playing computer games help my. . . uh. . . dexterity, so I can do my school work better!"

"No, you don't get incentive pay for Billy Vincent."

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

School boy

"That's my survival kit. It has a meditation tape, aspirin and rose-coloured glasses."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"Isn't it great? I found little 'Classroom Mode' switches behind their ears."

"I'm Billy's mother, and this is his attorney!"

A small clown sits at the back of a class room - 'Mr Jenkins, do you always have to be the class clown?!'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

"First day of school and you've already got problem students?"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'It was neat! - they have flat-screen blackboards!'

'A sinkhole ate my homework...?'