Aspiring Philosophers Gifts

Humility Monthly magazine: Featuring Our Person of the Year, Bud Blevins!

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"One year closer to college!"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Pastorius wonders why.

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

Life after death

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."