Aspiring Philosophers Gifts

Humility Monthly magazine: Featuring Our Person of the Year, Bud Blevins!

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"One year closer to college!"

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Pastorius wonders why.

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'It's my application to Harvard...'

Life after death

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.