Hopeful Philosopher Gifts

Recycling bank for illusions,

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"One year closer to college!"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Could I ask just one question?"

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

George Orwell

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Et in Arcadia Ego

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"Nihilistic customer service"

Free speech isn't cheap!

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

Life after death