Aspiring Rich Philosopher Gifts

'You'll like him. He's very optimistic - he believes that money can make you happy.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"One year closer to college!"

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

Pastorius wonders why.

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

Life after death

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

Young Galileo

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'

"It's one thing for the National Commission to comment on the quality of teaching in our schools. It's another thing entirely for you to stand up and call Mr. Costello a yo-yo."

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

We've been coming here for decades, but I still don't understand their idea that the richest person is the one with the most money.

"I like to consider Third Grade as just another life hack."

"It's from a girl in my class. Should I be thinking about a prenup?"

"I attempted to circumvent the traditional trappings of a teen furlough...but I was thwarted by my czar-ish parental unit."

"You'll get over him."